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moonbabyhowl

.....you're still here?

Nov. 17th, 2011 | 11:53 pm

I guess I ought to make this official. LJ is pretty much defunct for me. I'm still keeping my account for various stuff, but my Life Updates all are being put up on twitter and tumblr now.

twitter.com/wolfhowl88 Is me on Twitter.

garmrgaldramani.tumblr.com is my main on Tumblr.

acciodigivice.tumblr.com is my hardly used fandom related blog. Hardly used because most of my fandom stuff gets reblogged on my main. But if I've got original content or something to say on a fandom, it'll go here.

testosteronepoisoning.tumblr.com is my dirty naughty filthy why-are-you-looking-here blog. Furries and monsters and muscles and dicks and gay.

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moonbabyhowl

Soul-crushing Suck.

Sep. 9th, 2011 | 08:11 pm
Current state of mind: discontentdiscontent

So, not really even a month after the dog left to go with my sister and her husband....he gets hit by a car. This sucks so much. Can't even put into words. I've been in this weird depressive mood since I found out. I feel kind of guilty, as I was one of the ones pushing for him to finally leave. And then this happens. I can't even imagine how my sister must feel.

Fucking...Fuck.

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moonbabyhowl

Mischief Managed

Jul. 24th, 2011 | 12:10 am

Saw the last HP movie. It was cool. This was actually the only one I had gotten to see in theaters. The rest were either in school or *cough* torrented*cough* Damn, Neville was just a Little Miss Badass in this one wasn't he? Rocking the Sword of Gryffindor, cutting up some snake bitches~~ And the epilogue was done well. Made me teary a bit, it did. I rocked some Ravenclaw colors (just a blue jacket) because if I had to decide, I'd pick that House.

Party Tiem is still set for the 26th at sister and brother-in-law's house. It's in like 2 days, but I'm still not sure what I want. My PS3 to be fixed, yeah, but not much else. Hoping mostly for money so I can decide later. >_>

I'm also trying to get back into my sleep schedule/diet/workouts. People on Twitter being behind me in time zones needs to be dealt with. it's midnight here, there it's like, 9. I wanna be able to talk to people when they're free, but I also need to freaking sleep D:

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moonbabyhowl

This month, they leave.

Jul. 2nd, 2011 | 07:30 pm
Current state of mind: calmcalm

Sister and her hubby finally got a house and they're signing for it on my birthday, no less. So my party'll be a housewarming thing too, I guess. So long as I get my presents and fat-ass cake, I'm OK with that. Also, the dogs will be leaving. Best present ever. Although I would like to also get my PS3 back from being fixed. And a new screen because this one is a cunt.

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moonbabyhowl

Brushing off the dust with a doozy.

May. 17th, 2011 | 01:22 am
Current state of mind: blankblank
Vibrations coming into my ears now: Ladytron - "Ghosts"

So. My dad's dead now.


Apparently it was a heart attack.


I still don't know how to feel, to be honest. I know the loss of a parent should upset me. And I guess the only thing that does upset me a little bit is that I just don't give much of a shit. He stopped being my father the day he nearly snapped my neck. He stopped being an influence in my life years ago. Don't know when the funeral is, or if I'm even invited, seeing as how my paternal grandmother has said she doesn't see us as a part of her family anymore. Don't think I'd be able to keep quiet once the "he was such a good person" stuff starts anyway. The laughter would be too distracting for everyone.

so there's an update I guess.

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moonbabyhowl

Moon Reviews Something. Poorly.

Mar. 16th, 2011 | 09:54 pm

I recently finally saw series 5 of Doctor Who in its entirety. So, I thought I'd do a li'l review with my thoughts. First off, Matt Smith. Really liking him as the new Doctor. I've pretty much liked all the doctors for the way they play the role. Eccleston laid the framework for the new series, got people into it again, Tennant got the zany/nerdy thing going and got the cutie face to bring in the fangirls, and Smith brings that up to...well...eleven. :3

So, episode-by-episode:

-The Eleventh Hour: This was a solid first episode for a new Doctor. It showed the different points of his personality, and also demonstrated what the new guy can do. Tennant's first episode was spent out of commission for most of it, but Smith comes out swinging. No TARDIS, no screwdriver, 20 minutes to save the world. No problem. I will take umbrage with one thing. BACON IS FUCKING AMAZING. HOW DARE HE THROW IT OUT. D: I liked the reveal of grown-up Amy, even though I knew who she was from watching the episodes out of order and general internet stuff. Just two lines, really, and you understand what happened. The villain was sufficiently creepifying. Weeping Angels, Vashta Nerada, and now Prisoner Zero. Moffat just seems to know how to make a fucked up monster that will terrify you and not let you sleep. Anybody who has a big house with closets in out-of-the-way places probably went to check them all, then jump at every movement they catch from the corner of the eye. You never know, you might have a eel-piranha serial killer alien hiding in there.

-The Beast Below: If the first episode was Matt Smith's, this one was Karen Gillan's. It shows us from nearly the beginning what sort of character she is. I'm liking the trend of companions taking more initiative. I can't really remember Rose ever doing much on her own. Martha seemed a bit along for the ride too sometimes, but she had a few bits where I could see why the Doctor liked her. Donna was out of her league on a lot of things, but she had the most going for her when it came to thinking up ideas that ended up solving things and generally keeping Ten on his toes. Now we have Amy, who is arguably more ..."together" than the Doctor, who can be spazzy and single-minded. I liked the fact that it was her who figured things out and acted on it herself. Eleven was impressed, and so was I. Plus she's a hot Scottish ginger, so squee. :3 This was also a first evidence with the new Doc of the series-spanning theme of the doctor being kinda emo. The Doctor meets an entity somewhat similar to himself, and rather than let him live in pain and loneliness decides to kill him, echoing, I think, what he would want for himself were the tables turned. But the Star Whale is more like the Doctor than he thought: "all that pain and loneliness, and all it did was make him kind". I nearly lost it at that. Plus I just can't deal with plots involving animal abuse very well to begin with.

-Victory of the Daleks: This one was a mixed bag. On the one hand it had two of the most epic Dalek-related bits I've ever seen. "WOULD YOU CARE FOR SOME TEA?" Tea-serving Daleks and Eleven beating one up with a wrench. I loved that. But then we get the Angry Skittles. They've grown on me since then and I can tolerate them if I remind myself that they're the unique Daleks and the grunts probably won't be rainbow-flavored. I liked the dichotomy set up between what the Doctor thought exemplified being "alive" versus what Amy thought. Being in pain versus being in love. This is the framework of a few things that I think will carry through a lot of the series with Eleven: The Doctor on some level hates himself, and Rory is the best thing in Amy's life. This was also the first open clue that "something is very wrong about Amy". Plus, fighter plane battle in space. Oh my god. :D

-The Time of Angels/ Flesh and Stone: The Weeping Angels are back and creepier than ever. FFFFFUUUU-! This one stood out as River's first episode with the new Doctor. There was that bit where she lands the TARDIS without it making the noise. That's either a throwaway, or a clue as to who or what she really is. (I actually can't remember if the TARDIS is making the noise when she's piloting it in The Pandorica Opens, but it was too busy exploding anyway...) Something about her in that Little Black Dress getup makes me think of Lady Gaga. I don't know what it is. Probably the futuristic/retro thing she's got going on. It was a good intro to the whole greater River mystery, and a good scary thriller. The Angels are really just my most favorite villains for the creepy factor now. And I love the Doctor even more for the way he fearlessly mocks them. "I made him say 'comfy chairs' :D" Even then, they are so creepy. Just imagining a monster that can't be killed, can "kill" you with a touch, can reanimate your consciousness, and infect your mind to turn you into one of them, and the only way to fight them is to deny a natural reaction. The Daleks aren't that scary, in comparison. Daleks are just emotionless contempt, pretty much. They're going to kill you because you're not them, period. Angels are sadistic. They play with their victims to make them afraid because they think it's funny. And sometimes they let you live with the life they leave you with. Chills. Also, a bit of Fridge Horror for you all: "That which holds the image of an Angel becomes itself an Angel." This goes for your TVs and computers. Don't blink. >:3

-The Vampires of Venice: This was pretty much just Rory's intro episode, to me. We get to see him doing something other than follow after Amy wondering what the fuck is going on. It's shown a bit in the first episode with him taking pictures of the "coma patients". This is also the first bit of him proving he's the guy for Amy. Not many people have stood up against the Doctor with the intensity he did and walked away. He also calls the Doctor out on one of his most subversive traits. People try harder to be "worthy" of him, taking unnecessary risks. The darker side of "the man who makes people better". I also loved how the Doctor was flailing about how cool the "vampires" were. And him flashing his library card instead of the Psychic Paper. I loved the little detail that it was a picture of the First Doctor. It was a nice tie-in, and a reminder to anyone who had come in on Tennant that the character has been played by a lot of other actors before him. Fangirls can be awesome and make great fan pics, but they can also be scary when it comes to the "not MY Doctor" shit. Anyone who stopped watching because Ten left is missing out on an amazing piece of TV. My only gripe is with the stock bird noises after the storm is stopped and the overly done cheering. That bit would have been better without that, I think.

-Amy's Choice: This episode sort of stands on its own for me in terms of where it is in the time line, (aside from the fact that it's the only one with all three in the same place, Rory being either on Earth, dead, or plastic in the other episodes), but that's probably because it technically is set entirely in the TARDIS. The episode has a lot of little threads that tie in with everything else. First and foremost, it proves beyond any doubt that Amy and Rory are OTP. "How can it be real if he's not here? If this is real, then I don't want it." Again, nearly lost it. I think that sentiment rings true to anyone who's lost someone that close to them. Also, another subtle "the Doctor hates himself" bit. His line "There's only one person who hates me as much as you do" to the Dreamlord, paired with his explanation that the Dreamlord was himself. It took me a visit to TV Tropes to realize that one. Also probably foreshadowing of the Valeyard I guess.

-The Hungry Earth/ Cold Blood: I'm pretty sure the Silurians are my favorite race from this series now. The fact that they're not aliens and they are technically not "invading" makes them deeper than whatever monster of the week is terrorizing the countryside. I liked it that this time, there is no clear enemy, really, as both sides have their goods and bads. Well, no clear enemy, besides racism. I can't really comment on more than that. It is what it is, what happens is what happens. Two peoples with equal claim to the planet who are equally in the wrong and in the right clash. Wacky hijinks and manslaughter ensue. All throughout it, I was hoping "please let this end well", then the lizard girl gets tazed and I'm all "Fuck." I had watched the episodes out of order, so I knew Rory wasn't going to stay dead, but it still seemed kind of off. It was like "OK, he got melted in the other episode, so what's going on here? Is this for real-real or for play-play?" And then he comes back as a Ken doll so I guess it was for play-play. I liked the ending bit with the Doctor talking to the mother. Really brought up the fact that he's been a grandfather, even though he doesn't look like it now.

-Vincent and the Doctor: My only real commentary is on the ending. I bawled. ;_; As an artist myself, I was right there with Vincent as he watched everyone in the museum looking at the art. His art. His art that in his own time, is completely disregarded. I think every unappreciated artist has had that sort of fantasy at one time or another. That feeling of vindication that comes from the thought that "this is my life's work, and people like it. People get it." Also, when he was describing how he sees the world, I pretty much just "got it". I liked how it was handled and delivered. And the part where the night sky starts turning into Starry Night was just...WOW. Visual effects. You're doin' it right. Then the nature of the monster got to me a bit. Abandoned, blind, lashing out simply because of its nature. Its final words being an admittance of fear kinda kicked me in the crotch a little. Plus this was a "animal being hurt" thing too, a little.
There was also the humor bits, which were well appreciated in an episode as goddamn depressing as this one.

-The Lodger: Ignoring the wackiness in the episode for a bit, this one was surprisingly plot-intensive. That is, unless the proto-TARDIS was a gigantic asspull. My personal theory on it was that a piece of the TARDIS from the explosion fell back in time through the crack we see in the apartment and started growing there. The reason it grabbed the Doctor as a "suitable pilot" was because it recognized him, but it wasn't "fully grown" yet so wouldn't be able to handle him. TARDISes also have perception filters and holographic projectors so there's more evidence towards that. If this is true, then this episode might have been the first episode to feature a TARDIS without its Chameleon Circuit active.
About the plot. The new Doctor seems to have a better time of dealing with humans, even if he's more eccentric. Hell, Ten nearly got thrown out of an airlock because he couldn't get anyone to trust him. I guess Ten was just in the wrong place on the Uncanny Valley. Not human enough, not alien enough. There is very obviously something off about Eleven. It's endearing to the other characters, and when the weird shit starts happening, I think it makes it easier for them to accept it. Desensitized, I guess. The psychic headbutt probably helped too. ...I just now noticed, it looks similar to what the Master did to Ten. I guess it doesn't have to be as forceful with other Time Lords? :P

-The Pandorica Opens: Life in plastic! It's fantastic! Come on Rory let's go party ah-ah-ah-yeah! :D This episode had a certain level of epic to it. Everyone the Doctor has ever screwed over makes an appearance, Rory is back as a Ken doll, and we get more River. Moffat seems to like having the Doctor give lots of "don't fuck with me" speeches. He gave one to the Vashta Nerada, the Atraxi, and the Angels, and it's interesting to see one where it ultimately goes wrong. His swaggering had the exact opposite effect in that he pretty much just got up there and said "I'm the Doctor. I'm here to fuck you up. All your worst fears about me are true, and more." It might signal a rethinking of the "I'm the fucking Doctor" speeches. Kinda hope not, those are great. It also raises the question of what kind of species could build something like the Pandorica. I personally think it's a collaboration based on Atraxi prison cells. That Restoration Field looks like what they used to catch Prisoner Zero. The episode was a good first part to the finale. It starts off, you're thinking "oh, he's gonna fight everybody" but then everyone shows up and just kinda stands there. They've won. The Doc is beaten and he's seemingly trapped forever. And then every single star in the universe explodes, Amy is shot, River is stuck in a continuously exploding TARDIS, and you're left wondering how this can possibly be resolved.

-The Big Bang: This is where things get complicated... And how. The universe is saved simply because it was possible for it to be. The Doctor is able to go back in time to get himself out of the Pandorica, because he had gone back in time to get himself out of the Pandorica... Everything the Doctor did was in reaction to what his future selves had done, but for them to do that, he would have had to know what to do already, and...I still don't quite understand it all, so I'm just gonna comment on River making the Dalek lick her boots and call her Mistress. Who the fuck are you, River Song??? Not even the Oncoming Storm can make a freaking Dalek shit itself with fear like that. Series 6 better make her measure up to her hype. I liked the tie in to previous episodes, like with the scene in Flesh and Stone. Also the marriage rhyme being tied to the TARDIS. That was awesome. "old, new, borrowed, blue"... I never thought about that.

And now, let us pause to mourn the lose of a beloved character. ...The Fez. RIP Fez ;_;




-A Christmas Carol: "I'm sorry. I saw a chimney on Christmas Eve and my brain just went what the hell." I really, really liked this. It was just an incredibly fun story. Unlike previous Christmas Specials, it actually had something to do with Christmas. And wasn't some big important peril. It had enough danger to make it exciting but the danger wasn't the main focus. In the previous episode, the Doctor was pretty much along for the ride when it came to all the crazy timey-wimey going on, but this time he gets to orchestrate it all. My favorite funny bit has to be when he tries to convince Young!Kasran that he's a "responsible adult". Even the Psychic Paper calls bullshit. The Christmas Eve Montages were funny, and The Fez even makes an appearance. Plus, flying shark. OMG. "You humans. You always pick the boring way to do things." You could have flying sharks as pets!

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moonbabyhowl

making decisions

Feb. 28th, 2011 | 04:03 am
Current state of mind: pensivepensive
Vibrations coming into my ears now: Shinedown - "Cry For Help"

I've been thinking pretty deeply about some stuff concerning my place in other people's lives. I've realized that for the most part, I've been somewhat deluded in how I viewed our relationships. I'd just been assuming that we were "friends" without really doing much to earn that. If I want to be worthy of them, I need to be a better person, as well as try harder to be a better friend to them. I'm pretty much just talking to people on the internet. That's not what I want or need out of a relationship. That's barely even a relationship. I think I need to decide what I'm actually doing with my life, and with other people. Every day it seems like I wake up, go online, read Twitter or some shit and don't actually have meaningful interactions with anyone. I need to decide who to try getting closer to, and who to just let go of. I've been holding on to the idea of being with certain people, but it's really starting to become apparent that those feelings are probably not returned. Either I have to try harder, or give it up. It feels really painful to think about, and I'm not sure f I'm doing the right thing. I might fuck things up even more. And then where would I be? But I also think it's worth trying for something better. I'm sick of being a ghost, not feeling good or bad. Not allowing myself to feel good because it might feel bad later. I'm sick of being afraid of life.

I really hope I have the strength to see this through.

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moonbabyhowl

Lazy Journal Title

Feb. 9th, 2011 | 08:11 pm

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
--->>Day Ten: One confession.


--OK. Confession time. Not sure what I could say here that I don't already have in the open though...uhhh

Yeah. Not doing this one. Sorry. It was late anyway. I fail. :(


u mad? :V

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moonbabyhowl

Ten Day Meme: Day Nine

Feb. 7th, 2011 | 06:49 pm

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
--->>Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

--Two Smileys that describe my life.

1) (>*.*)>

2) (//_-)

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moonbabyhowl

Ten Day Meme: Day Eight

Feb. 6th, 2011 | 09:49 pm

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
--->>Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

Three turn-ons. I kinda touched on what turns me on and off in previous ones, so I'll just list what few fetishes/kinks I have instead. :)

1) Muscle. I like a guy with some beef on him. It's one of the few things that I can stand it going into the extremes. There's a few guys out there on Youtube and other sites that really just do it for me. It may have something to do with the fact that bodybuilding is the display of idealized male beauty, which is something I can totally get behind. Guys can look good too.

2) Frot. I think it makes sex less of a "top/bottom" "dom/sub" deal. There's also something inherently gay, and inherently male, about grabbing another guy's cock and rubbing it on yours. I like it up the butt, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it's just not a good idea. "intestinal problems" and all that.

3) Fur. The furries and shit like that, but also guys with a lot of body hair. ...That spanish family where they're all covered in fur has to have at least a few gay sons, right? :D

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moonbabyhowl

Ten Day Meme: Day Seven

Feb. 5th, 2011 | 06:39 pm
Current state of mind: busybusy

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
--->>Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

--Four turn-offs.

1) Violence. Just not into that at all. It throws me into a cognitive dissonance loop if violence and sexuality are brought anywhere near each other. That isn't to say I don't like it ruff (like GaGa~) But I will never understand vore/snuff/guro or the people that get off to it.

2) Not being clean/ Being a complete lardass. Fat is alright. Being a little sweaty is okay if it's not rank. Unhealthy amounts of gravy-flavored folds is not acceptable. I was reading this book called Where The Boys Are (pretty good gay drama) where one of the subplots was the life and "activities" of a rentboy. The description of one of his clients made me have to put the book down and gag for a few minutes. Oh god. How would someone let themselves get like that? HOOOW?! So yeah. My mouth is going nowhere near you if you are not cleaned up.

3) Incredibly loud people. Only way they'd get anything from me if I shoved my cock in their mouth to get them to shut up. >:( Being a goof is alright in small doses and out in equally loud places, but you need to have an inside voice.

4) Self-described "alphas". I do happen to like a guy who's in control of things and is a natural leader, but that's different from guys who try to be alphas. Take a guy like Trem. (Putting you on the spot, sry :D) Everything about him screams ALPHA WOLF. But he just is one. I've seen some vids of guys being "dominant" in fetish porn or something (hey, I get bored sometimes yanno?) and it would be sad if it weren't so funny.

I think it's kinda odd that a lot of my turn-offs are related to my turn-ons. I like a guy to be rough, but I don't like violence. I can like a guy who's kinda soft, but not gigantically a fatass. I like a guy to be dominant, but not domineering. I like a guy who'll act up sometimes, but not someone who has no volume control. Or maybe it's not that weird, just a matter of extremes.

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moonbabyhowl

Ten Day Meme: Day Six

Feb. 4th, 2011 | 08:28 am
Current state of mind: busybusy
Vibrations coming into my ears now: P!nk

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
--->>Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

-Five people that mean a lot to me, in no specific order.

1) Unca Red.

2) My mom (shut it).

3) Linc.

4) Trem.

5) Fen.


Put them in alphabetical order based on their real names. This was a bit hard as there's a whole lot more than 5 people that I care about. But I only really know a few of their real names so I used that to narrow it down a bit. I need to learn peoples names. Gonna have a Kimmie66 situation one of these days D:

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moonbabyhowl

Ten Day Meme: Day Five

Feb. 3rd, 2011 | 04:44 am
Current state of mind: contemplativecontemplative
Vibrations coming into my ears now: Voltaire

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
--->>Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

--Six things I wish I'd never done:

I'm actually gonna have to pass on this one. There's nothing I can think of that I wish I'd never done. By that I mean There's nothing bad that I've done that hasn't either taught me a lesson or been out of my control anyway. Or that wasn't fun to do >:3




So this one was easy.

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moonbabyhowl

Ten Day Meme: Day Four

Feb. 2nd, 2011 | 09:31 am
Current state of mind: sleepysleepy

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
--->>Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

--Seven things that cross my mind a lot:

1) Dicks. I'm a 22 year old gay male who used to be pretty sexually repressed. Gotta make up for lost fantasizing time.

2) Various songs. Seems like I can't go a day without having some song stuck on repeat in my head.

3) My different story worlds. I'm almost always writing these things. I probably have a dedicated partition for it or something.

4) When I enter a room for the first time, I usually run through the various exits, obstacles, and things that could be used as a makeshift weapon, and subconsciously position myself where I could make an escape easily or at least see the entire room. My seating arrangements in school reflected this when I had a choice of where to sit. I don't know why I do this.

5) I think about gameplay strategy quite a bit too. I was surprisingly good at an FPS the first time I played it because I translated #4 over to my play style. Pretty much never died raiding dungeons in Oblivion.

6) I'll put myself through logic problems sometimes if I'm bored out of my skull with nothing else to do. (curse the refractory period!) Pick a social/philosophical/scientific problem, try to solve it.

7) TV static. uuuuhhhhhhh. Can't think of a last one again. I has the dumb.

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moonbabyhowl

Ten Day Meme: Day Three

Feb. 1st, 2011 | 01:38 pm
Current state of mind: complacentcomplacent

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
--->>Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

-Eight ways to win my heart.


1) First and foremost: Don't be a dick. Personality. It's important.

2) Second most important: Have a dick. :P I like sex.

3) Be nice to animals. Do not, however, go PETA on my ass.

4) Understand and accept my faults and limitations. I'm not going to be able to do certain things.

5) Don't let me try to hide behind them though. Sometimes I need a kick in the head. Someone who's willing to push me will get more respect than someone that enabled me because they didn't want conflict.

6) Be passionate about something, but also respect the passions of others. (Unless that passion happens to be Twilight. Smeyers and her fans can go eat a sparkly dick.)

7) Nerds get plus points. Jocks get plus points too. Bonus multiplier if you're both. I'd like someone I could exercise with, and also geek out on movies and games and things.

8) This should be a no-brainer, but: Romance. Not the gifts and fancy dinners and such thing, but just take the time to make me feel like I'm important to you. Joke with me. Be my friend.



....Feel like I just filled out a personals ad. Oh well, onward, to Day Four!

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moonbabyhowl

10 Day Meme: Day Two

Jan. 31st, 2011 | 06:44 am
Current state of mind: awakeawake

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
--->>Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

-Nine things about myself.

1) I was diagnosed as autistic when I was in middle school. I really hate the people online who assume the world has to conform to them "because they're autistic". I had to fight to understand how society works, and am still trying to figure out my place in it. I'm still not on the level of most other people, and I'm starting to think I may never be.

2) Even though I call myself an atheist, I can kinda see the use for religion. I still will never truly understand religious people... Religion is alright. Spirituality is alright. Fundamentalism is poison.

3) I love music. All sorts. I'm even more jealous of musicians than I am of someone who draws better than me. A lot of my art is based off what different songs have made me feel.

4) I feel bad because I'm letting my art slip.

5) Extreme temperatures fuck me up really badly. My favorite times of the year are Spring and Fall, because it's bearable then.

6) I spent too much time stressing about my sexuality due to my faith at the time. I like dick. It's not a big deal. If I could go back and talk to my 16 year old self, that's the one thing I'd say. "You're gay. Deal with it. Quit crying in parking lots at 4AM and find a boyfriend already."

7) I think the reason I'm a furry is because for most of my life, I've been an outsider to humanity and so can empathize easier with others who "aren't exactly human". (Probably the reason I like Sanctuary and X-Men so much too.) I don't feel any special kinship with other humans, at least for the reason that they're human. I care about living things because they're alive and have their own minds. Roadkill upsets me just as much as seeing a particularly messy car crash.

8) For all my sluttiness, I'm really a pretty big romantic. Still haven't really had sex with anyone, because I haven't found that guy I want to share it with. I really hate the way most of society still views sex as something dirty, or that it's wrong to like it.

9) It's taken me a while to see beyond how I was treated by other people when I was younger. Sometimes I still look in the mirror and see someone undesirable. But most of the time, fuck that, I look good. :P


This one was easier. I might be able to keep this going til day 10. :D

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moonbabyhowl

10 Day Meme: Day One

Jan. 30th, 2011 | 06:48 am
Current state of mind: draineddrained

So I'm doing that thing. Ten days, ten topics. Gotta find a use for this LJ, maybe jump-start it again, who knows?

--->>Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

--Ten things I want to say to ten different people right now.

1)You do a lot for me. Too much, I think sometimes. I feel like I need to find some way to make all that work more..."worth it". I look at myself, and I look at what you've done for me, and I feel almost ashamed at how fucked my life has gotten. It hasn't been all my fault, but it's been enough my fault for me to be able to do something about it. I feel manipulative and unworthy, and I wish I could be a better person.

2)I don't think you'll ever really know how much you fucked my life over. There are a lot of things I'd have liked to say to you back then, if only to make you hurt as much as you hurt me... But in the end, as I grow older myself, I've come to understand you better. First, I feared you. Then, I hated you. Now? Now I pity you. You're nothing but a ghost to me now.

3)I'll probably never know you. I actually don't feel all that bad about that. Someone like me coming into your life would probably be just a complication. But we share blood, and I'd like to meet you some day, and I hope you have I better childhood than I did.

4)I care about you, even though we've never met in person. I feel screwed sometimes, obsessing over someone I may never have a chance with. I know on some level we may be too different. But judging from what you've shown me of yourself, I can see you're a shining soul and I wish you'd take the time to notice your own light more often. It's as obvious as the Sun in the sky to me.

5)I haven't been walking on your path for very long, considering, but along the way I've grown to know you as someone wise and capable. Even if you stumble along the way, know that I, and the rest of the people who care about you, will be there to offer you a hand back onto your feet. It'll take some doing, but you'll get where you're going some day. Run as fast or as slow as you need to. We'll keep pace.

6)I wasn't a very god provider for you, and sometimes was an even worse friend. You gave me your all, and I owe you a debt I can never repay. You deserved better than me.

7)You've got a mind on you, and stories to tell, and worlds to build. You inspire me to greater heights, and I'm glad Fate saw fit to throw us at each other. Kinda wish we could actually chat some time though. Timezones suck. And not in the drippy fun way.

8)I don't know if you even remember me. A part of me hopes not. I did some stuff to you that a friend ought not to. I hope where ever you are, you're happy and doing well for yourself. If you do remember me, i hope we might one day meet again. Start things over.

9)You're fucked. Blunt, yes, but true. I think you never really grew up. You're afraid of the world, and need someone else to guide you by the hand. You assume no one else can understand your problems, and that may be right. But they can't even try if you won't admit them to yourself. If you don't face your shadow, it'll grow too big for you to handle on your own, and swallow you up. The thing I think I hate most about you is, I see myself in you. And it frightens me.

10) ....ummm. I don't really have anyone else. If I think of something It'll go here then.


So that was...that. DONGS! Come back tomorrow, for the next nine more days.

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moonbabyhowl

11/11/11. So Excite!

Jan. 12th, 2011 | 02:55 pm
Current state of mind: bouncybouncy
Vibrations coming into my ears now: Infected Mushroom - "Sa'eed"

TES5:Skyrim Game Informer info things shit stuff.
http://badasspanda.com/first-skyrim.....-informer/2566
http://www.thenexusforums.com/index.....yrim-gi-scans/
http://www.thenexusforums.com/index.....m-information/


The points I give a shit about:

1) You can HEADSHOT people with bows to kill them instantly with a sneak attack. YES. I was so sick of bows being worth shit unless you train specifically for that the entire game. I've traveled the Red Ring Road so many times in order to train safely. (So many dead mudcrabs...) In RL, arrows move slightly slower than bullets. You get hit solidly with an arrow, you're pretty much fucked. Yay, realism.

2) Dual Wielding. Swords in both hands, axe/sword combo, whatever weapon combinations are mathematically possible. Two spells at once. Two shields at once? I can be left handed! That's probably the first thing I'm gonna do. Switch my sword over to my left hand. :3

3) People look better. It looks like how characters were in Fallout 3. But better. I have yet to see any screens of the Beasts or Orcs, so I'm hoping they're as good. Someone's going to bitch about beasts if they're not the stoopid pawz retards they were in Morrowind, but I'm just hoping they look at least a little ...not dumb. Oblivion got it right. Fuck all you haters, Morrowind Beasts were ass! Bipeds DO NOT WORK THAT WAY.

4) Tailored Quests. There are certain quests that are tailored to the play style of the character. I'm guessing this is added to the main quest pool, so you can keep having quests to go on indefinitely, like in Shivering Isles.

5) Customizable bodies. I liked this from Fable, and it's good to see other game developers picking it up. I want my Khajiit to be a scrawny fuck with a lithe swimmers build. I want my mage to have no goddam muscle tone whatsoever, maybe even fat, as he'd be sedentary. I want my Orc warriors to look like tanks. Mostly it'll just be good to not have every single NPC have the same exact body, regardless of age or lifestyle. :3

6) Beards. My Nord can finally look like a Nord! OOOODDDIIIIIN- i mean SHHOOOOORR!!

7) More voice actors. THANK. FUCK. A room full of the same race. I don't know what the fuck is going on.


Questions and bitchings:

a) Since Classes are taken out, does this mean no more favored attributes or star signs? Because if so, people who play khajiits as sometimes-warriors (me) are gonna die like bitches. Putting points into Endurance and Strength and picking the Warrior sign is the only way I can survive. Hopefully there's something similar to that. Like in Daggerfall where you distribute a pool of points into your attributes.

b) Werewolves. They were on Solthsheim and in High Rock, are they also living in Skyrim? If so, I wanna be one. Think it'd be fun. (A cat who turns into a dog. wtf?) If they are, I hope the Ring of Hircine comes back too.

c) This "dynamically tailored quests" thing. I better be able to be an evil bastard if I so choose. There was Dark Brotherhood, and that was pretty much it. Even the Thieves Guild was ethical, in its way. All the other missions had you being pretty much a moral, law-abiding citizen. I wanna be a dick and still be able to complete a fair amount of quests.

d) Enchanting/ No Mysticism. How do we use Soul Trap to Enchant something if the spell's not in the game anymore? Or does it work differently now?

e) What happened to Umbriel? Are we gonna have to wait for the next book, or what? Whatever happened must not have been that important if nothing's going on about that. Argonian Zombies in Morrowind, the prince in missing, giant floating Death Castle, etc. I'm hoping there'll be rumors about that stuff like there were rumors about unrest in the provinces and what happened to the Nerevarine.

f) Jobs. Smithing, Farming, etc. Is this going to be like in Fable 2, where they're ass repetitive and not worth the time for the gold payout, or will it be just a way to get stuff for yourself? Like harvesting ingredients in Oblivion. I like the idea of smithing though.

g) "FALLOUT WITH SWORDS!" Fuck all y'all. It looks like Fallout because Fallout was better than Oblivion. And there were swords in Fallout anyway.

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moonbabyhowl

It's the season for thankfulness. But fuck that.

Nov. 26th, 2010 | 03:27 pm

Kinda feel like shit. Actually, really feel like shit.

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moonbabyhowl

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: 4Loko + i-Dosing

Nov. 19th, 2010 | 08:04 am
Vibrations coming into my ears now: Linkin Park- The Catalyst (yeah, yeah, linkin park. shut up.)

Was watching the early morning thing on CBS, as I had nothing better to do, and saw something that pissed me off. I mean, besides the saccharine, obviously faked, "we're so friendly with each other we suck each other off after the show!" acts from the newscasters. I hadn't known about this before, but apparently someone took an idea from the Drew Carey Show or something and combined alcohol and caffeine. Aaaaand idiot college kids fucked everything up by being idiots and drinking too much of it because they're idiots and dieing. Oh noes. Natural selection is working! We've gotta stop that! OK, I can kinda see if someone didn't take chemistry or whatever and doesn't know that drinking a fuck-ton of alcohol and caffeine could possibly have a negative effect on one's ability to draw breath, but seriously. Regular booze kills lots of idiot college kids all the time. Do they seriously think because "it doesn't feel like you're drunk" matters? Normal people have one or two regular beers at a party. They have this wonderous thing called "counting". They don't go "drink as much beer as you can, as fast as you can, before you pass out! WOO!". I'm pretty sure the cans have some kind of warning on them too. I say let the idiots with no self-control DIE.

The second thing that pissed me off was, the media seems to just now be finding i-Dosing. That thing that uses sound frequencies to affect altered mental states. I've tried it before. It made me feel kinda lightheaded and tired. But the clip they showed was of someone laying back on a bed, giggling and glazed-eyed, kinda looking like Terry Schiavo a little bit. I didn't try any others, but the thing was like "YOUR KIDS ARE GETTING HIGH. ON MUSIC! Tru Fax! dun-dun-DUUNN" I get high on music all the fucking time. Shit, regular drums can be used to "affect altered mental states", no sine waves or whatever needed. I've done that too. They gonna try banning drumming circles now? Actually, shit, I think I remember a while back some town or other actually did try that. As I recall it was because they were dirty hippy pagans though, not because the drums were causing people to trip bawls and freak out. I'll admit, I didn't catch the special in full. They might have been even-handed with it. But from what I saw, they weren't.

Goddamnit people, getting high isn't always a bad thing! It's only when it becomes an addictive behaviour that it's bad. I get high from music. I don't partake of alcohol myself, but if I did it would be in moderation. If I could find a place to get some of those herbs and stuff that fuck you up, I would. And I'd only do it every once in a while. I get fucked up from drinking energy drinks. Normal ones. Rockstar, Monster, RedBull, etc. They fuck me UP. But I don't drink five at once, because I don't want to have an aneurysm. The problem isn't the drug, it's the way people are using it.

I kinda got preachier than I had planned, but still. Fuck the soccer moms and wet blankets. This is why we can't have nice things. >:(

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moonbabyhowl

An update of sorts.

Nov. 10th, 2010 | 07:36 am
Vibrations coming into my ears now: Shinedown - "Sin With A Grin"

So today I moved all the boxes out of the shed, in preparation for the renovation. Had some GaGa playing to keep me feeling bouncy. It's already feeling awesome to have that much open space. Don't know what I'm going to do with my papers and tech though. Probably gonna spend tomorrow moving stuff around. And then I play the waiting game for the work to start.

In other news, it seems my brain is on a marathon of naughty. I've had about a week of sex dreams, all featuring the same person. Not complaining, seeing as how Trem is the hawtness.

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moonbabyhowl

guh

Oct. 27th, 2010 | 09:24 pm
Vibrations coming into my ears now: Paul Oakenfold- "Burns Attack"

so. update. The compy is home! awesomesauce. i also might be getting a computer of my own at some point, as the guy that fixed ours gets people bringing in their old stuff all the time. "old", meaning a few years old, which is better than what we have now. I also am getting the shed turned fully into My Room. It'll have actual walls with, like, drywall 'n shit. And a ceiling. And power outlets in more than one place. Also, in about a month, the dogs may finally be leaving for their own house. I have some problems though. It's been a year since I've done much with my HD aside from DL shit, so I'm gonna have to set aside some time to clean shit up. Good god, my folder topography. It buuuurns! Also, I need to hit the reset on most of my profiles online, get a new start, and such. And now, to be a Negative Nancy. And by "nancy", I mean "gay man". My PS3 got fucked up mysteriously after I pushed it off the shelf it was on after it pissed me off. So I has no moar gaems. I did download Daggerfall though, so I'm gonna try that out. Gonna ogle me some naked men who are penisless for some reason. Oh, that reminds me: http://www.imperial-library.info/content/daggerfall-real-barenziah-part-4 There's furry smut in this game. Awesome.

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moonbabyhowl

This Is A Song To Say Goodbye

Oct. 18th, 2010 | 11:12 am
Current state of mind: blahblah

You are one of God's mistakes
You crying, tragic waste of skin
I'm well aware of how it aches
And you still won't let me in.
Now I'm breaking down your door
To try and save your swollen face
Though I don't like you anymore
You lying, trying waste of space...



So. With that, I have family bullshit to bitch about. Namely, my aunt. She's finally crossed the line. A line that was drawn far outside of what it should have been to begin with, but hey, my mom's a forgiver. Firstly, she tried to jump out of my mom's car while it was moving, apparently because she "didn't want to go back to her apartment" (I'm guessing because there are mexicans there. and she's batshit.), and then a few days later, we find out she stole money out of my mom's bank account. Last I've heard, the bank is filing charges and there's nothing my mom can do, even if she wanted to. On the plus side, now we don't have to worry about paying for her shit, because she's cut off. Like, forevers. Reeeaally hoping she doesn't have a psychotic break and kill herself, or something. Because she's threatened to before. She just needs to admit she's fucked in the head and get help. I mean shit. Getting on SSI wasn't a high point for me in terms of pride, but I did it because it needed to be done for my own benefit. She seriously is in denial, and has got to stop raging about shit. Face your Shadow, or whatever the New-Agey types say. I even named mine. His name is Hamr and we're BFF now.

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